you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We don't watch enough power rangers
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
