Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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