then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
