Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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