Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm passing your future prison.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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