So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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