please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
