In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
