It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I puked a lego.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
