Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just high enough for therapy.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
