so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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