you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
