I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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