I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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