Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
