Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You're like the curious george of whores
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize