and you said cock pushups were impossible
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
