thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
