i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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