i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
