Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
