Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
