No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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