Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize