Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
