I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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