TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
