My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
