Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
