Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
