A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
