I just threw up on my dentist
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
