I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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