I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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