i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
