great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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