In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
