I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
