Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I showed him my bush... on skype.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
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