did you get engaged???
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
