he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
