sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
