Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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