So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize