barbara walters just said penis...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize