Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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