Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
