I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
