Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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