Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
