where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
