you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize