Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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