I need help removing her.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
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