what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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