I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm both gender and math confused
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
