The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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