so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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