God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Drunk is not a location!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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