Christians are straight up FREAKS
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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