youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
