Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
