i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
