HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
