Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
