we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
