if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
