I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
