i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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