I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
