My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
