Screwed.edu
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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