Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
