ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Randomize
