I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
