i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
