you guys were way drunker than both of me
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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