Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
No subtext here. People are naked.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
