It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
