Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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