Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
