Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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